For those who have been dropping by here every now and then to keep yourself posted about my dad, he is still alive and kicking. And kicking too much probably. Basically he is fine and all is well.
He just came back from a checkup on Monday and the doctors found out that the tumor grew yet again. But the amazing thing is that, he isn’t showing any negative symptoms (thank God)! Which is a good sign and it has left the doctors puzzled. But then again the growing tumor isn’t really that good, I’m not sure what treatment he’ll be going through yet. Either going through a surgery again or chemotherapy (which may or may not work). This will only be decided upon one month later when my dad goes for another scan. Anyway, thanks for all your prayers.
Going on from here are just my rants. Proceed with caution. Heh.
As much as I thank God for sustaining my family through till now- dad unable to work, mum having to take care of dad, no income, my up and coming overseas education which costs a bomb and thus adding on to the weight of the already (I think) heavy financially burdened family. I can’t help feeling tired after so long. It’s been a year.
Two brain surgeries later, dad seemed healthy enough to return to work. The whole family was looking forward to it and then the news came and sent us crashing (or at least me). Thought that finally the family would have some financial stability and then boom. The damn tumor has to grow. But then again, I always remind myself that God will provide as he has done so far. We’re doing well and making ends meet. Because I have God, I know He will provide the money for my university education since He was the one who presented me with the opportunity to go in the first place. I know I can count on Him. So… money, food whatever wouldn’t be a problem for us.
As much as I can’t help my mind wandering in the direction where ‘what if dad leaves us for heaven?’, what will happen? Who will be the breadwinner? Bills? House? School fees? How, HOW, HOW?? Then I’m comforted again when my mind wanders off to the part where I have God.
But the scary thing is the thought that I might actually lose a parent.
I feel so tired all of a sudden after telling myself that my dad will be fine and trying to tell myself that I have to be strong. I guess I’ve just ran out of steam and all I want to do now is to just sit and stone. But stoning lets my thoughts run too wild sometimes and thinking too much isn’t exactly helpful.
If you’ve read this and know my parents. Don’t tell them that this entry exists. Thanks. I really just needed to get it out of my system and I feel all better now. Don’t need to worry about me because I’m fine, really. And they say speaking up helps, and it’s suppose to extend your life span? Scientifically, that’s the reason why women generally have a longer life span than men, because women are more expressive (?) whilst men just bottle everything up inside. Hopefully, after typing this I’ll live like… 5 years longer?
They say sleeping more than 10 hours a day (which er… I happen to be guilty of some times) might reduce your life span, so hopefully this makes up for it.
Anyway, I think cancer is a long battle. Don’t know much about cancer but every time the TV features someone battling with cancer, they’ll mention that the person has been fighting cancer for XXX number of years. So I guess this battle is going to be a long one, which kinda worries me because I’ll be leaving Singapore soon. And who knows what will happen while I’m gone, right? Ok, this sucks.
It’s almost one in the morning and think I should head to bed now. Thanks for reading this and erm… I think I just wasted 5 minutes of your time, so sorry about that.
Love from a re-energized Elaine 
Nights.
Hello. I found your blog through the WordPress Tag Tracker. I also have a parent dealing with cancer. My Mom has Stage IIIb lung cancer. She decided to all alternative therapies – since chemo and radiation offer little hope for late stage lung cancer. She’s been doing intravenous Vitamin C and sodium bicarbonate (along with other things) for about 2 months now. She’s really turned around. Her oncologist told her that she would have no quality of life by this point. But, instead of declining, she’s improving. I started a blog for my Mom, so I could share with her all the alternative cancer treatments I was finding on the internet. You’re welcome to check it out and see if anything there might help your Dad. It’s at: http://starfishproject.wordpress.com
Hang in there. It’s hard sometimes being the caregiver for a parent. Do something nice for yourself. As women, we just go into that “nurturer” mode and we forget all about ourselves – abusing our own bodies while we care for others. I know all too well about the sleeping issues. Some nights I’ll sleep only 4 or 5 hours, then other nights I’ll fall into bed and not even move for a solid 11 hours. It’s weird.
Take care and I’ll be praying for your Dad.
*hugz* :’-)
Don’t worry about it. Your dad will be fine. He is strong and he will be around for a long time.