Me: Now that the fish died, I don’t know what to do with the empty bottle.
Mum: Throw it away lah. Or you can start collecting coloured sand or shells.
(Coloured sand?? Go where and find coloured sand?)
Me: You should come over and cook for me because I’m too lazy to cook for myself
Grandma: Then what do you eat if you don’t cook?
Me: I cook when I feel like it.
Grandma: But you have to cook to eat! If you don’t cook then you’ll come back all skinny.
Me: I must be some amazing human being, too lazy to cook but yet I still manage to return home round.
Grandma: Hahahahahaha. But you must eat, cannot return home skinny.
Me: If only losing weight were that easy. I wouldn’t but this round, Grandma.
Grandma: Round nice, skinny not nice.
Me: I am very much round.
Grandma: Remember to eat.
Me: You should come over and cook for me in November, during my exam period.
Grandma: Me go over? I’ll be so bored over there. I can’t speak the language, know anyone, or my way around.
Me: You don’t have to leave the house. You’re suppose to just stay at home and cook for me.
Me: I’ll take you out grocery shopping, and then you can stay at home and cook for me.
Grandma: Then who’s going to pay for my air ticket?
Me: Ask mummy. (Hahahaha)
Grandma: But it’ll be so cold.
Me: It’s summer here, at the end of the year.
Grandma: Maybe next year.
Me: But there will be no next year if I don’t pass my exams!
Grandma: Isn’t next year your last year?
Me: Yes, but in order for that to happen I have to pass my exams this year to move on to the next year. So, you have to come over this November to cook for me so that I can pass my exams. (Magical Grandma cooking helps you pass your exams! Woohoo! Haha.)
Me: This is such a brilliant plan right, Grandma?? (Insert cheeky smile, which she couldn’t see)
Grandma: Wait till you come back at the end of the year and we’ll see how it goes lah.
I win. Sort of. But she’s still not coming over to cook for me 😦
Yes, I speak totally illogical nonsense to my grandmother. Some things I say to my grandmother is mind-numbingly stupid. Hehehehe.